Traumatized Starbucks Employees Seek Support on Reddit

Pumpkin Spice season may cause pre-traumatic stress disorder.

By Ethan L. Johns
August 18, 2017

Image: AppKerman, Reddit

August 18, 2017 —
Autumn is coming and we are starting to see the inevitable hype around this season’s new offerings. But not everyone is amped for the arrival of that special nectar of the gourds (pun at me, bro). With Pumpkin Spice just around the corner, Starbucks employees are taking to Reddit to share their mixed feelings of fear and excitement towards the product.

“It’s coming. God help us all,” reads the title post of one hugely popular thread, started by user AppKerman and accompanied by a snapshot of a half-gallon container of “Pumpkin Spice Flavored Sauce”. The forum is filled with employees voicing complaints about pumpkin-fiending clients coming to get their spicy fix both before the stores release the product in September, and after it finishes its run in December. For user hefnerdidnothingwron, “the worst part about Pumpkin Spice is in January or February, trying to convince people [that] we are out of it, seriously, yes, it's true, there is no more.” Others, like user MC-noob, were more cynical: “Can't they just put this into IV's and pump it directly into basic white girls' veins?”

Most participants in the thread actually seem to be pretty jazzed about the beverage itself. And considering the torture us clients put Starbucks baristas through when we order absurd secret specialty drinks, maybe the PSL isn’t the worst thing in the world after all. Says user Panconpeenga, “Honestly from my experience I'll take this over Frappy Hour or the Unicorn Frapp.”

Just don’t try to order it from December through August.

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About Ethan L. Johns

Ethan is the Food News Writer at Genius Kitchen. An expert on the Parisian bistrot, he likes bitters and salted butters, and is no fan of dessert unless it's made with fruit. His hobbies include reading up on the history of borscht and attempting to roll perfect couscous by hand. Twits & Instagram @EthanLJohns