“Oh come on. Who doesn't love chocolate? Well, me, for one, but I'm insanely outnumbered, so here ya go! Times are estimates.”
12 spring rolls

Ingredients Nutrition

  • 12 cup heavy cream (listen closely for artery-hardening noises about now)
  • 2 tablespoons butter (tight, crackling sounds come from your chest as a smile wraps itself around your head)
  • 6 ounces semisweet chocolate or 6 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped
  • 12 cup peanuts, chopped
  • 12 egg roll wraps
  • water (the "good for you" ingredient)
  • vegetable oil (for frying)
  • powdered sugar (optional)


  1. Bring cream and butter to a boil over medium-high heat in small saucepan. Remove from heat and sprinkle chocolate over cream mixture; let stand 1 minute. Stir with wire whisk until smooth; stir in nuts. Chill in refrigerator until firm, about 1 hour.
  2. Lay egg (what?) roll wrapper on work surface. Spoon 1 rounded tablespoon of chocolate filling into center of wrapper, shaping chocolate into elongated shape. Brush edges of wrapper with water. Fold in sides and roll up very tightly. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate until needed.
  3. In a large heavy skillet, heat 3/4" oil to 350°F Fry spring rolls in small batches until golden, Turning once, about one minute per side. Transfer with slotted spoon to paper towels to drain. Sprinkle with powdered sugar just before serving, if desired.

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