Christmas Cake
"Christmas Cake is one of the traditional joys of the holiday season - but it also fills the producer with terror - in case it isn't perfect. This is the antidote, and is exactly what you need for Christmas - a laugh!"
- Ready In:
- 5hrs
- Ingredients:
- 10
- Yields:
-
1 cake
- Serves:
- 4-6
ingredients
-
Ingredients
- 1 cup water
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 cup sugar
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1 cup brown sugar
- lemon juice
- 4 large eggs
- nuts
- 1 (1500 ml) bottle vodka
- 2 cups dried fruit
directions
- Sample the Vodka to check quality.
- Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again.
- to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
- Repeat.
- Turn on the electric mixer.
- Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
- Add one teaspoon sugar.
- Beat again.
- At this point it is best to make sure that the Vodka is shtill OK.
- try another cup-- just in case.
- Turn off the mixerer.
- Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in a cup of dried fruit.
- Pick fruit up off floor.
- Mix on the turner.
- If the dried fruit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
- Sample the Vodka to check for tonsisticity.
- Next sift two cups of salt.
- Or something.
- Who giveshz a whip.
- Check the Vodka.
- Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
- Add one table.
- Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
- Whatever you can find.
- Greash the oven.
- Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
- Don't forget to beat off the turner.
- Finally throw the bowl through the window, finish the Vodka and kick the cat.
- Cherry Mistmas!
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Reviews
-
Made me laugh out loud! -
Love it..I needed the laugh! Thanks for posting! -
Now, I can't say that I've tried it yet (too many little kids running around these days) but I will! :-) Thank you so much for such a funny recipe, makes my day every time I read it! -
I have searched for this recipe high and low. My husband and I laughed so hard. This is definately going to be a keeper. I think I will make it right before I do the *#@%* Christmas cards. Cherry Mistmis and a Slappy yew near. -
Well Phyllis...My Grandmother would roll over in her grave!! How did you obtain her recipe??? I thought she took it with her!! I am so happy you posted it... now I can continue the family tradition!! At last I have been redeemed! Bless you! and Merry Christmas!!
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RECIPE SUBMITTED BY
Phyllis Elias
Gretna, Dumfries & Galloway
I live in a beautiful bungalow built for us to my design, and the kitchen is wonderful. I love cooking and concocting new recipes. I used to decorate cakes (wedding cakes and celebration cakes) as a hobby. I am a great fan of Rick Stein and his fish cookery books. Since being widowed in 2004, I am finding it difficult to cook small amounts, but still enjoying culinary adventures. I also enjoy having friends round for a Raclette evening where they all get to try something different as they are rarely found in the UK.
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