Miller's Mexican Rice

Gavin "Miller" Duncan passed away November 12, 2004 in Laurel, MD from complications of a "broken" heart. The outpouring of support from the Recipezaar community while his health was declining was a huge comfort to him and even "perked him up" a bit in his final month. Miller was a huge asset to Recipezaar, not only due to his incredible collection of recipes, but his participation in the forums. Miller was known for his wonderful low-sodium recipes, his warmth, and last, but not least, his wicked, dry sense of humor. Liza at Recipezaar ********************************************************* No, the picture to the left is not me. It is, in fact, a picture of famous TV Chef Jamie Oliver (a/k/a Thpit Boy)’s grandfather, the late Sir Topaz McWhacker. Note the strong family resemblance, most noticeable in the nose, eyebrows, and general lack of cleanliness Legend has it that Topaz taught Thpit everything that he knows about whacking and about only washing and combing his hair twice a year. . Instead of the trivia that many Recipezaar members have displayed on their “About Me” pages, I thought it might be a tad more helpful if I were to provide some beneficial information that you can put to good practical use either in your own kitchen or when you are watching the antics of some celebrated TV chefs. So, for your enlightenment..... . . Chairman Kaga: When he says “Ion Shff”, he really means “Iron Chef” or, perhaps, “I need a Kleenex” . Chef Paula Deen: When she says “awl”, she really means “oil”. When she says “y’all”, she really means “everyone except m’all”. When she says “bring the water to a bawl”, I have no clue what she means - I thought you could only make a baby “bawl”. And, boys and girls, you can easily Deenize the sentences that you use in your very own kitchen, such as “All y’all can bawl your corn in olive awl or wrap it in aluminum fawl”. . Emeril Lagasse: When he says “confectionery sugar’, he really means “confectioners’ sugar”. When he says “pappa-reeka”, he really means “paprika”. When he says “inside of”, he really means “in”. When he says “a little”, he really means “a lot”. Have you ever tried to count the number of times he says “a little” during any given show? Don’t – it will drive you nuts. When he says “cardamin”, he really means “cardamom”. When he says “my water don’t come seasoned”, what he really means is “I need a new joke writer”. When he says “that www dot food thing”, he really means “I flunked Computerese 101”. . Iron Chef Morimoto: When he says “Foo Netwu”, he really means “Food Network”. . Dessert Dude Jacques Torres: When he says “I going”, he really means “I am going”. (The verb “to be” has apparently been deleted from the French language.) . Spit Boy Jamie Oliver: When he says “whack it in the oven”, he really means “I am into hot, kinky stuff”. When he says “Bob’s yer uncle”, what he really means is “you’d better ask your aunt how well she REALLY knew that mailman named Robert”. When he says “rocket”, he really means “an older weapon being used in Iraq”. When he says “Fewd Netwuk”, he really means “Food Network”. . Numerous chefs: When they say “codfish” and “tunafish”, what they really mean is “cod” and “tuna”, respectively. Please note that they use these terms so that you don’t go out and buy “codanimal” or “tunavegetable” by mistake. Having said that, I have no clue as to why they don’t refer to “troutfish”, “salmonfish”, “red snapperfish”, etc., etc. . Giggly-Wiggly Rachael Ray: When she says “EVOO”, she really means “don’t use BOCO (boring old corn oil)”. When she says “a little lettuce action going on”, she really means “with only 8 minutes left in the game, cabbages are still in the lead, but lettuces are making a strong comeback”. . Two Fat Ladies: When they say “I gwing”, they really mean “I am going” or “Sorry, but we have been watching too many episodes of Jacques Torres’ show”. . Please note that the above is not all-inclusive. If there are other celebrity chef words or phrases that have you stumped, please post an "ISO" message in the discussion forums and I will find the translation for you.